Saturday, March 24, 2012

Up and Down and All Around

Short Update on Big Change:

I got a wonderful job opportunity (for some stop-mo animation) and have moved to Burbank to pursue it.
This means - Physical production of my short has come to a standstill (although I'm making a effort to keep it on my mind....I still have some aspects of it that I need to trouble shoot so I'm constantly thinking about things like that)

So here I am.

AND NOW to ramble.

The first time I made a big move (from Toronto to New York) it sort of threw me for a loop and I stopped drawing and updating my blog for about a month or two.  That whole time I kept telling myself its ok, you just need to adjust.  But what I failed to realize is that by taking out the one thing in my life that I consistently did for myself alone, I had inadvertently sabotaged my total adjustment to my new situation.  As soon as I finally said enough's enough and picked up a pen and started drawing, thats the first time I felt at home in NY.  Looking back on it now I'm like DUH I should have started drawing immediately.  I think I would have adjusted a lot sooner and just felt better (not that I wasn't having a great time from the moment I arrived :) )  But lesson learned.  Then when I moved from NY back to Toronto the first thing I made sure to do was get out for a walk and draw EVERY morning.  Oh man....that was awesome.  An unexpected benefit: my mom and my sister even came with me a few times and it was really great being able to spend time relaxing with my family at the start of my day.
From then on every move I've since made (Toronto to Vancouver, then Vancouver to Burbank) I've only missed a day or two of drawing.  I finally draw again because I just want to.  Not because I feel like I have to but because if I didn't I'd be fighting against doing something I just want to do.  I still haven't achieved child like creative doodling (which is where I am trying to go) but the want to draw exists quite powerfully in myself and the more I do it the more I want to do it.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

There'd be days like this....

I have recently (today) come to the realization that "staying motivated" isn't really the problem we think it is.  As artists we tend to think that staying motivated is the KEY to success, without it we are lazy and time wasters, no good and will never get better.  We've all experienced excitement at a project!  The feeling that you just can't wait to get going on something.  And then....  for whatever reason..... you loose motivation.  You sleep in or feel cranky or something in your personal life is exploding a little and you really just don't have the energy to be excited for your art.  You don't even WANT the energy to be excited for your art.  And then you give up a little and it hurts the artist inside you that you would dare give up on something that is really at your core very important to you.  And then we ask ourselves with regret and shame "Why can't I just stay motivated?  What's wrong with me?" I totally get it, I think we all do.
Hello from my Old Man!!!!!

Here's the thing though, the key is not to stay motivated.  The key is to forgive yourself when you are not motivated.  I have spent a lot of time just beating myself up for not working hard enough or long enough or good enough.  I always thought if I could just "stay motivated" I could be the artist I always wanted to be.  But this just isn't life.  Things are constantly colliding with us that knock our focus and energy away from our art.  This is life.  And its ok.  I think where the trouble really starts is when we start beating ourselves up about it instead of just moving on.  How can we be expected to create when there is someone in our head questioning our own dedication to our craft?  It's ridiculous.
Next time you feel completely unmotivated... Just let it be.  More than that try to recognize what is distracting you, maybe take some steps to manage or get rid of your distraction.  Then forgive yourself for not drawing for a week (or whatever) and you would be surprised at how fast your own brain will wake up excited instead of remorseful screaming "Let's go!!!!"

Friday, March 9, 2012


What have you been up to?