Failures and Regrets

Guys, I've had a pretty incredible year.  Possibly one of the best years of my life so far.  It started off with me looking for work while trying to make a real go at my illustration and has now ended with the completion of an 8 month stop-mo animation contract that brought me from Toronto to Brooklyn.  I would not change a single thing about this year if I could.

Crazy Brooklyn Fashions!

I know I've been really sparse on the blog updates since I started working, but I hope you guys have still stuck around and I thank everyone who is still reading.  It was around this time last year that I started my blog, hoping to connect with a part of myself that I had been ignoring for a while.  The part that needs to draw and write to really feel successful.  Thankfully it worked, and then when I got my new contract and moved to Brooklyn I only really had a month or two where I was adjusting that I stopped drawing.  Although I haven't been posting them on my blog I have consistently drawn 5 times a week at least and have now filled two and a half sketchbooks since August.

Now that my project has wrapped I am looking forward to next year.  Just like last year I have no clue where this year will take me.  I have a firm sense of where I want to go and what I want to happen but you know what they say: Life happens while you're busy making plans.  I'm preparing for what I want to do but excited for all of the curveballs that I know are headed my way.

So why have I titled this entry "Failures and Regrets"?

Well those words used to be negative and hurtful to me.  But now they feel like old friends guiding me to make the right choices.  I love the concept of failure and regrets and here is why:

Failure:
Guys, I used to be really really really scared of failure.  It made me feel instantly uncomfortable and made me want to hide.  It is the one thing that I gave so much power to that it stopped me from trying certain things.  It stopped me from experimenting and questioning.  It kept me in my comfort zone like a cage.
Well guess what, if you do nothing new then nothing new happens.  Surprised?  I kinda was.
Anyways long story short I realized the only way to succeed is to embrace failure.  To try and to fail and then to show that failure to other people and not be controlled by it.  Cause I know that just because I fail at something one time or a hundred times doesn't mean I am always going to fail at it forever.  It also doesn't mean that I have to stop trying.  Every time I fail now I feel like I am really onto something.  And I am.  I have learned WAY more by failing then I ever did by doing something right the first time.
Failure is effing awesome.

Regrets:
This one is easy.  I used to have a really hard time making decisions.... Pro's and Con's lists that went on for days and friends and family that I pestered to help me make decisions.  I don't remember how I came to this realization but I have found the shortcut for all of my decision making.  I just ask myself "will you regret not doing this?" If the answer is yes then you better believe I DO IT!  Actual regrets suck, but knowing how bad it feels to regret something is priceless, as it will give you that extra push to make that decision that you are afraid to make.

So you see, going into 2012 having FINALLY figured all of this out, I'm pretty darned optimistic.

And expect the regular blog posts to return!  Once I get through this next transition (moving back to Canada!) I have made it a goal of mine to post regularly again, I'm hoping three times a week.  I really love the blogging community and look forward to being more involved with it again!

Hope everyone had a happy holiday and have a safe and happy NEW YEAR!!!!!

CTN and Vimeo

WHO GOING TO CTN?!!  I just finished packing and I thought I'd post my latest progress on my man before I head out and ignore him for a week or two.

I'd say at this point he's at the 50% way done mark.  I gotta say this has been one of the most satisfying things I've ever worked on.  Seeing photos of it is highlighting some part I need to work on still.  ALSO as you can see some of his armature is sticking up out of the back of his neck.  This was a total mistake and a lesson learned for me about building armatures.  I really didn't put too much thought into the armature cause I wanted to get on with the sculpting, but of course it ended up biting me in the end.  Can't wait to smooth him out and get into finer details.  

ALSO my vimeo link is now working.  I have my most recent demo up (which does not include what I have been working on for the past 6 months as I am still working on said project).  

Looking forward to tomorrow!  Some life drawing with my favorite model, then a few hours of sleep and then I'm on a plane!!  Hope to meet some of you bloggy people at CTN!

Progress!

Started roughing in the hands! Still have a long ways to go but here is my process so far.

Also I used my iPod to take this pic so sorry for the icky quality! Better pic to come soon.

It Begins!!

I have begun sculpting my character for my short.  Really there is nothing more satisfying then doing the exact thing you want to do.  And this was that thing.
I can't wait to work on this more!!!!

Still Kickin!!

Yes I still exist!  It looks like one blog post a month might be the type of schedule I can commit to while I work up a storm over here!  My work brought in this amazing life drawing model last week and we had a drawing/pizza party!!  The model even brought in this crazy pair of goat legs that her boyfriend constructed for a renaissance fair.  Basically the best way to spend time if you ask me.  

Since I last posted I began going into a coffee shop before work to draw every morning and I have FILLED an entire sketchbook!!! HURRAH!  It always gives me such a great sense of accomplishment when I do that.  

I also moved apartments and have a sweeeeeeeeet setup.  I have a bedroom AND a private office all to myself which I have now dubbed "the sculpting room".  THINGS ARE HAPPENING!!!!

Also I've been thinkin a lot about my short and have had quite a few revelations about it.  Might take things in a slightly different direction then when I first thought.  Open mindedness is fun.

ENJOY LIFE!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

What is EVEN wrong with me?? I can't believe I haven't posted in so long!  For some reason I thought I had at least posted midway through August but when I went to post now I see that it was at the end of July. WHAT THE WHAT!  Apologies to myself for allowing this to happen and thanks to any of you who still take the time to stop by!
It is not that I haven't been drawing, its just that when I do draw I feel very uninspired.  Although that never stopped me from posting before so its no excuse.  Ah well, here's to the future!

ALSO I have finally worked out a way to keep myself drawing everyday no matter what.  So expect more frequent blog posts.

AND I am now working more aggressively than ever on my short.  I'm excited to share stuff but I haven't decided if I want to start a whole other blog for it or just keep it on this one.

Shout out to Versace for finally making me feel truly inspired!!!

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

My apartment is really close to a super awesome park here in Brooklyn.  I kinda spoiled myself with this apartment and I gotta say I'm glad I did.  Its in a safe area, its totally lovely and its SECONDS away from the entrance to a busy park where people are constantly coming and going.  This makes for the most perfect of people watching/drawing situations.
I will be moving again though in a few months and I certainly hope I can stay in this area.  This week I am feeling great as I cut a waaaay rough animatic of a short I want to make PLUS got in some drawing and painting time.  A MILLION POINTS TO ME!
Must keep up momentum though.  Even though I love my job I know its no substitution for working on my own stuff.  I think that both things can live quite happily in the same world.  The thing that really seems to throw me though is improv.  It is exhausting and challenging and wonderful.  It also equals really late nights.  I had the same problem when I was in Toronto and the only way I could solve it was to cut down my improv.  But I don't wanna.  I'm pretty determined to have it all and I'm willing to put in the work to figure this equation out.  Its frustrating and slow going but I don't think I have any option other than to work it out.
Also my improv improves my art.  So..........I guess this is just happening.
:)

Itsy Bitsy

Little post of a little girl!  In a cute fluffy dress!

I continue to work on being able to balance my 9-5 with my own creative endeavors.....  It is a hard task but one I believe to be possible.  I will get there!

More Fun

I was fortunate enough this week to have the opportunity to go figure drawing with a great group of people.  The model was by far one of the best models I've ever drawn in my life.  She truly had a talent for posing.  I had a great time :)

My Life

Every day I fall more and more in love with Brooklyn.  Perhaps though its not the city so much as just the joy I feel from drawing the people who inhabit it.  I am fortunate to be living in one of the best neighborhoods and the variety and diversity of people is astounding.  I feel such a rush of excitement when I look up for a moment from my sketchbook and am instantly captivated by whatever human is crossing my line of sight.  The possibilities suddenly seem endless.  With my pen and my paper I feel like a force of nature, unstoppable.

The Sherman Brothers

Please excuse me while I try to stop weeping on my keyboard.
I just watched the Sherman brothers documentary and it was soooooooo EMOTIONAL.  For those of you who don't know the Sherman brothers were responsible for basically every song that brings back special childhood memories.  Example: every song in Mary Poppins, Winnie the Pooh (you know the intro to the old ones...sigh) etc.
The story of the brothers themselves is quite sad.  Though they worked together for many decades they never got along and now that they don't work together they don't even talk.   So.  That is emotional.  Throw in songs that make me think of a simpler time and my bottom lip starts a quivering.... EMOTIONS!

Here they are, those wonderful brothers.  Let me just say thank you thank you thank you Sherman brothers.  I can't imagine a world where your music doesn't exist....

Seriously guys, look them up.

Don't cry for me Toronto

I'm really having a great time exploring this lovely city.  I still have a few other things to do before I feel completely settled but so far so good.  Today I had a really lovely saturday.  There is a ridiculous abundance of people to draw and a ridiculous amount of food to consume.  I am doing both.  This is awesome.

16 and....

YES  I watch 16 and pregnant.  I must admit I've always been a bit of a documentary series junkie.  I really like to hear other people stories.  I love intervention, real housewives, EVERYTHING.  These people are so different then me and I love to watch and learn about what its like coming from different places in life.  I like going into something thinking "theres no way I can relate to this" and then coming away from it realizing that I really identify with other peoples stories.  No I've never been 16 and pregnant but I have faced fear and uncertainty.  I've never been a housewife who has been "well taken care of" but I have had clashes with family and friends and indulged in the drama of it.  Sure I was in high school... but I can relate!

Something familiar in an unfamiliar place

Well fellow bloggers I have left Toronto. I got a sweet job in New York so I packed up and here I am! I can't say it was easy to leave Toronto. For the past few months it has been a wealth of inspiration. The people, the neighborhoods. I love it all. It was very hard to leave it although it made it much easier knowing that I was heading for an amazing city and a job I'm really excited about. So of course I must apologize for the rather large gap in between posts as the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of packing and planning. When I arrived yesterday I felt a little out of sorts (i'm sure the 10 hour drive had something to do with it) and I decided to do something I enjoy to make me feel a little more at home in my new place. So here is a painting I did (sorry for the dark picture, I had to leave my scanner behind) to ease my nerves and I absolutely felt immediately better. Of course the fact that I have perfect strangers playing helps also :)

Anyways I will continue to update my blog regularly. People of Toronto: sleep easy tonight! You are no longer the subject of my sneak attack drawings. NEW YORK RESIDENTS: WATCH OUT

Toronto, you were so kind to me today.

Today I went walking in BEAUTIFUL yorkville. It was so sunny and beautiful. I sat on a bench to just enjoy the weather and not five minutes later this man came by and starting playing the clarinet. It was sooooooooo lovely. I have about 4 pages in my sketchbook now with this guy. AMAZING.

It just had to happen

YES. I have figured it out. Pen + Gouache = Heaven.
This is what I was meant to do.
EXPECT MUCH MUCH MORE!

Will someone PLEASE give Colin Firth (another) Oscar?

I really hope for all of your sakes that you have seen Tom Ford's A Single Man.
O.
M.
G.
Acting at its effing finest. Colin Firth is unbelievable in this movie, I don't know how he didn't get an Oscar.
Not only is Colin Firth scrumtrillescent (a million points if you know where thats from) but Tom Fords directing is perfectly restrained. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I love this movie.

Col-erase is SOOOO last april

So i bought some new pens a while ago and I'm finally putting them to use. I also got some SWEEET new brush pens that I filled with some water colour so I can paint on site. Water colour doesn't really hold up when being scanned though cause its SOOO transparent as opposed to my lovely gouache. Anyways drawing with the pen is challenging me which is GREAT.

Kickin' it old school

After gouache and I unofficially broke up a little while ago I had some time to myself to think things through. I may have said some things I didn't mean and maybe I didn't appreciate everything gouache had to offer. Long story short we got together today to have it out. I think we really just need to learn how to communicate better. Anyways I've decided to take gouache back and forgive and forget and look forward. Sometimes you really just need time apart to see that what you always wanted was right in front of you.
You know what they say, if you truly love something and let it go, and it loves you it will always come back. While I may leave you again, I will always come back.

Self Portrait

Just a little sketchy sketch of myself while I sketchy sketch.
Looking forward to a fun week!!!

Can't we all just get along?

Trying to reconcile with illustrator. Doing more freehanding and less vector adjusting!! I think we can make this relationship work.
Also I've been sketching from TV shows lately and I gotta say its really great for understanding what makes a unique face. Although I have often read about it I never really explored until now the difference it makes when you decide to feature either the upper or lower teeth. I love exploring!
But holey SWEARS my hand is cramping!!

Before there was Illustrator....

there was photoshop....


Sketching in photoshop....I used to stay up late and just mess around in it. With illustrator you don't have quite the same freedoms. I need my freedom from vectors sometimes!!

Colour

I find myself experimenting with colours in ways that I haven't really done with gouache.

Just havin some fun over here

really trying to understand the best way communicate light in illustrator.... I wouldn't call this "finished" but just more of an experiment. Anybody seen any good illustrator pieces out there for some inspiration?

little something something

Loving illustrator but it is definitely a learning curve! I get faster by the day... MY POWERS ARE EXPANDING!

WHITE LIGHT!

For some time I have suspected that if I used white light while painting (instead of the yellow light bulb I currently have) my colours would be truer which equals better. Well fate intervened and my lightbulb blew so I had to use my fluorescent while light until I get a new one. And BEHOLD this time when I scanned my painting it looked like what it looked like WHILE i painted it and I didn't get any nasty colour shift surprises. Lesson learned.

Tardy for the Party

Yes this is a super late entry, but I am so happy that I finally learned illustrator!! It is such a crazy detailed program that can do SO MUCH. I can't wait to really get in there and release the inner control freak that I am. I heart you Illustrator.

"Spring"

I really love sketching outside but this weather is killing me!! My hand froze and I was only able to do 4 pages today before I had to go back inside. It is definitely an adjustment to be drawing outside now and I still haven't found that perfect place to sketch. I think I will wake up early and go place hunting tomorrow.

Today I went sketching outside.....I felt like I was on the set of my favourite TV show

it was AWESOME.


There is something inexplicable about there not being a window between you and the things you are drawing. It is a great feeling.

Life Drawing!!!

HURRAH!!! I went life drawing!! and it was awesome!! I haven't been for so long because when its cold out it can be a real bother getting there and back. However now that the weather is more agreeable I am unstoppable!!!

I'm thinking about it....

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I want to be spending my time....Important things to think about. I love to draw, sculpt, paint and animate. If I try to do it all at once I know I won't realize my full potential in anything. Time to think and prioritize!!

Something new

I have entered the mythical forest of Illustrator and I am taming its many beasts.
IT IS SUCH A CRAAAZY PROGRAM!! LOVES IT!

Downright Bustling

Today the coffee shop was BIZAY. It was nice to have that extra energy in the air but at the same time I start to feel edgy cause I am taking up one of the very limited sitting options available and I stay there for like an hour.... But I should just get over it cause no body is ever left standing looking for a seat.
Have a happy day!!

PLEEEEAAAASSE

I so badly want summer.

Spring has come....and gone?

It is soooooo slushy here. And cold.
Complain complain.

I don't know why

This girl is wearing a short skirt. And it is snowing today like crazy. I don't know why she chose to do this but I am happy about it cause it gave me some variety.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR NON APPROPRIATE WEATHER ATTIRE.

Old Ladies Who Walk With Dignity

There is a lot of them in the area that I live.
Awesome.

Soggy

Its a pretty soggy day today.... Perfect for starting on my taxes!!

ITS AN EPIDEMIC

BARE ANKLES EVERYWHERE!! I LOVE IT!
ANNNND I totally wore my spring shoes today. I know I know, the temperature is going to drop after today but sometimes you just got to take it one day at a time.

Either way, three cheers for no socks!!

I SAW ANKLES TODAY!!

Something fun about Toronto: In spring and fall you can observe people in both parkas and short sleeve shirts on the SAME DAY. That was true for today. I saw this girl and she was wearing flats with no socks and it warmed my heart.
Summer is on its way.