Copies

I've been doing 20min copies of some of Nathan Fowkes work.  I'll do it either before I got cafe sketching or after and it's become a really nice part of my day.  I just set a 20min timer and forget the world exists as I paint.
That man knows his colour.  I've already learned so much since I started doing this.  Again this is a thing I have thought about doing for years.  It is something I've been told to do for years.  Why I haven't done it until now... I can't say exactly but fear is a part of why.  I know I sound like a broken record by now but it just goes to show how much of a part of my everyday life fear played a part in.  Life is too short to be afraid everyday, even if it's only the little of stuff.
I've been doing these copies for about two weeks now (these aren't all of them) and I feel like I'm really starting to understand some of these colour concepts.  More than learning something new I find that doing these copies has reinforced knowledge I knew on an intellectual level and made me understand it more on an emotional/personal level.  It's just the difference between memorizing facts as opposed to discovering knowledge organically and letting it become a part of you.
I said it once and I'll say it again.  This failure challenge is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

FAILURE CHALLENGE #15 (halfway!)

Feeeeeeeelings

Maybe it's something in the air, maybe it's because my 8tracks playlist just started playing Backstreet Boys or maybe it's because I'm about to move into a sweeeeeeeeeet new apartment.    Either way this is how I've been feeling lately.  Also me and photoshop have really been getting along lately.  I took some time, put some work into that relationship and we haven't fought in WEEKS.  A new record.

FAILURE CHALLENGE # 13

I'm counting this as a failure challenge even though I didn't set out to do this as part of it.  I just sat down and wanted to experiment and this is what happened.  It's worth noting though that before I started the failure challenge I would have been too afraid/anxious to just freely experiment like this.  Progress people, PROGRESS!

Back Baby

I have mostly recovered from my most awful cold.  Being sick caused a lot of my momentum to come screeching to a halt.  So now I'm building it back up again!  I can't believe March is just around the corner.
I've worked on this just a few hours this week.  Looking forward to devoting more time next week and finishing it!  Hurray for moving on!

Filtered

I was feeling pretty disconnected and blah about my digital piece.  I realized it's because I didn't really care about it.  So I decided to take my own advice and find something to love about it.  I decided to redraw it but instead of just drawing what I saw in the photograph I allowed it to filter through my mind and my own perspective.  This is what happened and now I'm actually excited every time I sit down and work on it.  I'm not rushing through it.  I'm exploring and playing and having fun.
This challenge has really helped unblock me mentally and creatively and I'm now working on other ideas.  Ideas that were totally stalled as I was paralyzed by the potential failure they might be.  YAY!  This is working for me.

BEFORE

CURRENT

Anyone want to join in?  What are you afraid of doing because you might fail?

For You.

I actually think that kindness is one of the most powerful things in the world.  Kindness to ourselves and kindness to each other.  When I am feeling down about myself or my work sometimes I feel like it would be weak to be kind to myself.  Like I would be encouraging or endorsing the things about myself I wanted to change.  Truthfully though I was just kicking myself when I was already down.  When I couldn't find the strength to be kind to myself I was and am lucky enough to have people in my life who could see past my self loathing to see just me, a person who was hurting.  When I couldn't bear to be kind to myself my family and friends were.  It was their kindness that lifted me up.  If I had surrounded myself with people who believed like I did that the only way to change or help myself was to be cruel and point out my flaws (as if I didn't already know what they were!) I don't think I could have survived it.  I count my blessings every day that through the darker periods in my life when I couldn't show myself love or acceptance I had people in my life that gave me a soft place to fall and a refuge from my own internal self flagellation.  Now, years removed from those times I find it easier to be kind to myself in the hard times.  I remember a few parts of last year when I felt particularly low that I couldn't find one good thing to say about myself.  It was then when I was internally searching for something, anything that would keep me moving forward I heard my sisters voices telling me that they were proud of me and that they believed in me no matter what.  I listened to those voices and replayed them over and over in my head until I believed it and I could say it to myself.  Of course I could have chosen to listen to the other voices.  The ones who doubted my choices and discouraged me from taking the risks with negativity and fear.  If I chose to recall those voices in my fragile state I think I would have just fallen to pieces.
Not everyone is going to believe in you.  But you owe it to yourself to find someone who does.  And you owe it to yourself to believe in the way they believe in you until you can believe in yourself.

While we are on the subject, who is it that you believe in?  Who can you offer kindness to when they are feeling low?  Give that person a soft place to fall because you may be the only person in their life who can.

PROGRESS -

Look a little different?  I'll talk about that on Friday :)

A Work In Progress

Well the titles says it all!  I'm working on a small digital piece for fun.  It's weird doing something you don't usually do and having the feeling that you have no idea who you are.
Here is a preview:

Digital Painting in Photoshop.  Referenced from a picture.

Also I've been getting some requests to see the other lemons I painted so look out for that on Monday!!

Kickin' it old school

After gouache and I unofficially broke up a little while ago I had some time to myself to think things through. I may have said some things I didn't mean and maybe I didn't appreciate everything gouache had to offer. Long story short we got together today to have it out. I think we really just need to learn how to communicate better. Anyways I've decided to take gouache back and forgive and forget and look forward. Sometimes you really just need time apart to see that what you always wanted was right in front of you.
You know what they say, if you truly love something and let it go, and it loves you it will always come back. While I may leave you again, I will always come back.

Self Portrait

Just a little sketchy sketch of myself while I sketchy sketch.
Looking forward to a fun week!!!

Can't we all just get along?

Trying to reconcile with illustrator. Doing more freehanding and less vector adjusting!! I think we can make this relationship work.
Also I've been sketching from TV shows lately and I gotta say its really great for understanding what makes a unique face. Although I have often read about it I never really explored until now the difference it makes when you decide to feature either the upper or lower teeth. I love exploring!
But holey SWEARS my hand is cramping!!

Before there was Illustrator....

there was photoshop....


Sketching in photoshop....I used to stay up late and just mess around in it. With illustrator you don't have quite the same freedoms. I need my freedom from vectors sometimes!!

Colour

I find myself experimenting with colours in ways that I haven't really done with gouache.

Just havin some fun over here

really trying to understand the best way communicate light in illustrator.... I wouldn't call this "finished" but just more of an experiment. Anybody seen any good illustrator pieces out there for some inspiration?

little something something

Loving illustrator but it is definitely a learning curve! I get faster by the day... MY POWERS ARE EXPANDING!

Tardy for the Party

Yes this is a super late entry, but I am so happy that I finally learned illustrator!! It is such a crazy detailed program that can do SO MUCH. I can't wait to really get in there and release the inner control freak that I am. I heart you Illustrator.

Something new

I have entered the mythical forest of Illustrator and I am taming its many beasts.
IT IS SUCH A CRAAAZY PROGRAM!! LOVES IT!