I Want It That Way

Quick note - I will be getting back to a somewhat "regular" blogging schedule of Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  So come on by!

Lately I feel that I am forcing a real fork in the road.  Well several forks.  And when I think about it, it all becomes very overwhelming.

I don't know what lies ahead, I don't know how one choice will affect my other choices in the future.  I can guess, but I can't know.  

Sometimes I stop and think why I couldn't have chosen a more mainstream career.  One where you get to a company, work your way up and feel somewhat secure.  But if I did that I think my life would be a little more 

When I look at that I know its not the right choice.  I know that even if I haven't quite figured out who I am I know at least what I don't want.  With all of the craziness and uncertainty at least I have more options.  More chances to do or experience something that I don't even know exists yet.  My life has been full of surprises.  In the midst of it it was all very stressful with dizzying highes and bottomless lows.  But it's been interesting.  I will take an interesting life over anything else.  I think I'd rather live in the extremes than be in the middle all of the time.  When it comes right down to it I just really need to keep that in perspective so that I can weather through the uncertainty until it carries me on to the next adventure!

WHAT IS UP

So here is whats up.

When I returned from my most recent work trip I picked up work on my short.  I got SUPER excited and was so super motivated from the energy I had felt working on Robot Chicken.  I decided to do a walk test with my ball and socket armature.  I set it all up and had him take a step.  I felt totally alive and thrilled as I finally animated my little man.

AND THEN.

The thread lock came loose.  For like the THOUSANDTH time.  I had 9 joints in the neck alone and the thought of one or all of them going while I was in the middle of animating gave me a headache.  Have you heard that saying "to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results is insanity"?  Well I realized, I could re-clean  the joints, reapply thread lock AGAIN and maybe this time it would stick.  But louder than that voice came another one that had been stirring ever since I worked on the Moral Orel special.  I really loved those armatures.  They were wire armatures but the way they were made was amazing.  I could animate it as hard as I wanted and they never broke.  When I returned to Burbank later in the year to work on RC they used the same armatures.  And again....  I loved them.  Before I made a decision I asked myself a question:
- if the puppet broke while I was animating it would I have fun in stopping to take the time to fix it?  Or would I be annoyed and impatient and want to get back to animating?
Answer: I would be seriously annoyed and impatient.
So I've made a decision.  I'm going to remake the armature out of wire.  I don't want it to break while I'm animating.  I care more about animating than I do building.  There is just more joy for me there.
When I came to this realization I felt both relief and panic.  I had spent MONTHS of time working on the ball and socket armature.  Had I really wasted all of that time?

No.

When I look back on the time I spent in my cold studio with my fingers freezing trying to piece together the steel armature what I recall the strongest was how happy I was.  I love building things.  I always have.  I love using my hands.  This is really why I love stop motion so much.  I had fun building that armature.  I can't think of a better way of spending my time than by doing something I truly enjoy.  The sum of that time is not a useful tangible object but rather bits and pieces of knowledge that I gained while sorting through the many small obstacles I encountered.  To me this is priceless.  What else is priceless is knowing that I worked on the things I thought I wanted most - a ball and socket armature.  And to be shown that when I thought I had to choose between A or B there was actually a C I didn't even know existed.  I love being surprised, especially when it changes my mind about something I was so sure of.

So I happily pulled out my original sculpt.  I measured it and made a scale drawing, shrank it in photoshop and am now using it as my template for my new armature.  Using wire will enable me to get back to the proportions I had first envisioned.  Smaller joints, thinner limbs.  I'm excited.

So Much

So much to talk about.... So many decisions have been made.  Too much now to go over, I just really wanted to get a sketch up!

Stay Tuned!

Also!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!  What will 2013 bring for you?

Bleeding High Hopes

I don't know...  I'm still not feeling AMAZING about the pen bleeding... but I will carry on until I think of some magical solution.

I'm back to working on my short and let me just say: CHANGES ARE HAPPING

As I've mentioned before I don't think I will be returning to the studio space that I occupied before.  There are several reasons for that, but I won't bother going into them.  This has caused me to realize that I have a lot less square feet in which to shoot in.  This means - SET REDESIGNS.  It's going to be challenging in a whole new way but I'm a firm believer that when you have immovable obstacles a greater and more creative solution can be the net profit than if everything just goes swimmingly.  After I post this blog post I'm going to go on walkabout to scavenge some materials to shoot some tests with.  I have high hopes and hopefully they will stay this high after the testing has been done.  Overall though when I brainstormed "Solution A" last week I got very excited as to how it could actually enhance the storytelling in my film.  If all goes well this week I may be able to share with you some tests.  Of course in my experience with stop motion things only go as you expect they will 5% of the time.  So no promises!

Bye Bye B&W

So I decided to JUST DEAL WITH IT.

Yes, the ink will bleed.  But I want to continue with this pen and this paint.

I think if I am aware of the fact that the ink will bleed I just need to be more careful about my brushwork.  The past few sketchbooks I have filled have been pure black and white since I have been separated from my paints for so long.  Seeing colour back in my sketchbook just makes me feel....happy.  Another piece of my soul puzzle in place!

Uh Oh

Mid way through the year, it finally happened.  I FOUND THE PERFECT PEN.  I had been searching for years for the perfect sketching pen.  In college I was all about the ballpoint.  Later on it was all about Micron.  Then I came close early this year with the Pentel Hybrid Technica.  THEN, when I thought I could do no better, fate intervened and I found the glorious Pilot G-TEC-C4.  The most perfect pen I have ever sketched with.  I have done about 2 full sketchbooks with the Pilot and I have been loving it.  However I haven't painted in SO LONG.  Mostly due to the fact that my paints were in storage when I moved to SF.  Now that I'm back in Vancouver and my office is mostly set up I found the time to paint.  I had been looking forward to it since.......well it seems like forever!  So today, I painted.  I painted on top of my sketch and..... the EFFING INK BLED.
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It never bled with the Micron, but the felt tips wore down after 1 or 2 pages and I was going through a pen a week.  With the Pilot I can actually use up the ink completely (which can last anywhere from 3-5 weeks).  AND I love sketching with it.... It feels great and the lines are really nice.
So now I am torn.  There is no way I want to give up my gouache.  There is no way I want to give up this pen.

WHAT. A. PICKLE.

Like Riding A Bike!

My bike (white lightning) is back!  YOU BETTER BELIEVE I went on a sweeeeeeeeeet bike ride.  It's just one more thing that makes me feel pretty great.  Other than that I've been working on setting up what I like to call "Alicia's Workspace 2.0".
Here and there I've had some pretty righteous workspaces, but none of them were ever really made to my satisfaction.  I had a pretty sweet (but small) thing going on in TO a while back.  Then I had a great studio space in Vancouver but I gave it up when I got the contract for SF.  Now that I'm back I'm trying to make it work in my apartment before going out and getting another studio space.  The one I was at before had a heating problem and it's hard to get work done (especially when working on intricate stop mo armature pieces) when your fingers are freezing.  I'm pretty excited about what I've got going on in the apartment right now.  I just need a few ikea pieces (drawers mainly) to make it organized and functional.  Once I've got everything set up I'll share a pic.   Anyways, surprise surprise here's some more cafe sketches!  I love being back at my regular cafe here.  Good energy and great people.

Word Of The Day

Overwhelmed.

Today the final piece of my life was delivered back to me.  After packing up my life to move to San Francisco it has arrived back at my doorstep in Vancouver.  My stuff made a round trip pretty much from Vancouver, to SF then back again without ever being unpacked.  I've gone without about 85% of my personal belongings since July.  Whatever didn't fit in a suitcase and carry on has now been returned.  I've been thinking about this day with excitement for a while and now that it's here I feel anxious.  My apartment is scattered with boxes.  I have to unpack.  Again.  I am swinging between the excitement of picking up working on my own art (including my short!!!!) and the paralyzing fear that once again, I am unemployed.

This industry can be a dream come true and a nightmare.  I'm so thankful for the amazing support that I constantly feel from my friends and family.  Nobody has ever told me they don't believe in me, and I think thats why I am always able to believe in myself.  Even now, under the weight of my fears.... I think I can still make this work.

So.

Time to rehang the hooks I took down.  Put together the desk I took apart.  Refill the drawers I emptied.

And put the luggage AWAY.

So Much To Say....

....that I can't sort out my thoughts today in any coherent manner.

Drawing was fun but now my brain is screaming!  AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Combobulated

I finished working on Robot Chicken last week and WOW that was fun!!!!  I'm so proud of the work I did while I was down there and so proud to have worked with such a fantastic team.  I enjoyed that contract so much but I also had so much on my mind in regards to reconstructing my life from what I like to call "The Great San Francisco Detour" that there were times that my head was not totally there.

I arrived back in Vancouver this week and felt all sorts of discombobulation for the last few days.  I've been running around taking care of errands, piecing things back together.  I also just got over a cold so I've been feeling SUPER low energy.  Today was the first day I went drawing since I've been back.  I returned to my usual spot where I was welcomed very warmly by the staff who remembered me.  It's one of life's little joys to be a regular at a coffee shop I think...  The cafe was bustling with activity and before I  took a sip of my latte I felt like someone had injected me with caffeine.  The cafe I go to has such a fantastic energy.... I think probably the best in my neighborhood.  I've tried at least 3 other places but this one always comes out ahead.  I felt shocked back to life in the best way possible.

The last few weeks my drawings have kind of been lacking in something, but as I started to sketch I felt that something come back.  I felt so excited and alive and ready to DRAW.  When I first moved to Vancouver it took me such a long time to really connect with it.  Now I feel connected.  I can see the art everywhere.  Life can be so strange sometimes.

I tried to love markers.... I just... don't.

This woman was so simply dressed but so elegant.

Within the next few weeks my belongings will be shipped back to me from SF.  Including my bike (YAY) and paints (YAY!).  Even though I have a mounting list of errands to run, even though I gave up my studio when I moved to SF and now have nowhere to work on my short, even though I don't have a job right now, I feel really happy.