Word Of The Day

Overwhelmed.

Today the final piece of my life was delivered back to me.  After packing up my life to move to San Francisco it has arrived back at my doorstep in Vancouver.  My stuff made a round trip pretty much from Vancouver, to SF then back again without ever being unpacked.  I've gone without about 85% of my personal belongings since July.  Whatever didn't fit in a suitcase and carry on has now been returned.  I've been thinking about this day with excitement for a while and now that it's here I feel anxious.  My apartment is scattered with boxes.  I have to unpack.  Again.  I am swinging between the excitement of picking up working on my own art (including my short!!!!) and the paralyzing fear that once again, I am unemployed.

This industry can be a dream come true and a nightmare.  I'm so thankful for the amazing support that I constantly feel from my friends and family.  Nobody has ever told me they don't believe in me, and I think thats why I am always able to believe in myself.  Even now, under the weight of my fears.... I think I can still make this work.

So.

Time to rehang the hooks I took down.  Put together the desk I took apart.  Refill the drawers I emptied.

And put the luggage AWAY.

Growing Pains

Well this post has been a long time coming.  Crazy changes have happened and I've been physically and emotionally all over the map.  After SF fell through I thought about my options.  To make a long story short I ended up getting a spot animating on Robot Chicken in Burbank.  It's been crazy amazing and the studio is fantastic.

I've still been drawing every day and thank goodness for that.  In this time of my life that seems to be full of constant transition and change, drawing has been the one consistent thing that I can count on.  It is the one thing that after being laid off, with no job and few friends in SF, gave me a reason to get up in the morning and get out.  Every time before this time I knew when I would be unemployed and I was able to plan for it.  There would be an end date on my contract that I could prepare for it.  This time around it came out of nowhere and I wasn't prepared.  If I hadn't started drawing again so long ago I literally would have had nothing to fall back on.  If you move to a city for a job and then the job disappears, what are you left with?  A city that is indifferent to your existence.  When I am working and living in a city I feel like I am a contributing and valuable part of the community.  Anytime the work dried up in a city I've been living in I immediately feel like I've overstayed my welcome.  To stay longer in SF would have been like being the last person at a party that can't take the hint even though the host is yawning and saying "well it's getting to be that time....." as they load up the dishwasher.  I love Toronto, New York and San Francisco.  I loved working and living in those place.  But once I had no more work those cities seemed to close themselves off to me.  Every day I felt like they were saying "oh, are you still here?".  With no work I am not needed, nobody notices my existence and nobody would miss the absence of it.  This is a strange place to be in.  I had the option of staying in SF longer just to hang out but I left as soon as I could.  It became such an empty place with nothing there for me.  San Francisco is such a beautiful and vibrant city with so much to offer, but I had nothing to offer it in return and so our relationship felt like it had come to a natural (though abrupt) ending.

I suppose that is all there really is to say about that situation.  Now I am in Burbank.  A city that wants me here.  When I arrived last week it was very bittersweet.  I am in a job that I love, but I really hadn't expected to find myself here.  I don't regret anything but I feel like there is still a version of myself in a parallel universe still in San Francisco working on a feature.  And yet another version of myself in Vancouver still working on my short and living quite happily.  The past week when I have woken up it takes me a good few minutes to realize where I am and what I am doing here.

And then I get up and go to work.

I have begun experimenting with markers!  They are a more portable solution than paint.   Stay tuned for more fun experimenting with markers!!

One Day At A Time

So... it's been a stressful week.

Aside from any other nonsense I've been having a lot of really nice moments.  It's amazing that no matter what is going on in your life if you look hard enough you can always find some measure of peace.

The other day I started my day by going sketching and getting a latte.  Then I wandered over to a juice bar and grabbed a really great vegetable juice.  From there I meandered up the street to a used book store and picked up a new-to-me book.  Then I found a nice shady spot in one of the most beautiful parks I've ever been in and I sat and read (and laughed out loud - thank you David Sedaris) for a few hours.

No matter what is going on in any other area of my life, that is a damn good day.

Oh Jeeeeeeez

Wow Ok.  I did not expect it to be almost a month before I blogged again but here we are.  So THE BIG MOVE is completed.  I am now in San Francisco for the time being working at a great new job.  Every move gets a little easier, the logistics still stress me out to no end but adjusting to this new city was pretty easy for me.  There is a great energy here.  The people are diverse and inspiring.  The coffee shops are plentiful.  Improv lives.  I know I will be just fine here :).

I'm happy to report that although my time blogging was very off and on I have still been drawing every day.  I even found a really great cafe nearby that I go to an hour before work and sketch.  Heaven.

Currently I still am looking for a more permanent place to live but once THAT monkey is off my back every thing will be peachy........right?

This move has stirred some thoughts.  That combined with starting a new job has really got my brain spinning.  Once I have a things more in place I hope to post about some of the things I have been thinking about. 

Laaaaaaaaaaaater!